June 23, 2011

happily ever what.


In a deep funk, I can deeply relate to the song,
"She's Only Happy in the Sun". 
I feel like I'm in Seattle. Except I'm stuck in the midwest
without the gorgeous coasts to look out at.
Just stuck. I feel trapped.
I tried to recollect all my favorite souvenirs from 
trips and vacations, truth be told I haven't seen enough
for as old as I am. 
I want to dig toes into white sand and take pictures to
pin up all over my room.
This funk has put me out of the mood for most things in my life.
I only have the desire to work, I want to make money, that's it.
I know money doesn't buy happiness but it buys
plane tickets and food.
I lost my desire to try in this relationship, I stubbornly keep recollecting
the last weeks of school, how much has changed, 
hoping I got over it, when really I brushed it under the rug.
I don't have desire to see these people anymore.
I want to see my brother, this person who understands all without
trying to comprehend, without really having to say anything at all
we can understand. I miss that, or something like it.
Just want the year to roll on by, gathering money and maybe good memories
but always remembering my goals. Goals to get out of here.



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