June 17, 2011

flip flop

i cancel plans to be alone. all i really wanted tonight was to relax.
i'm learning how to spend more and more time alone, by myself.
and not really feel that scared.
this year, i will work on every minute, and how there isn't anyone
behind the door, no one in the dark and no one stealing my life.
i have nothing to be proud of except my survival.
my grades aren't good enough to get out of here and into a city
where i belong, and i don't have the money to go the places,
eat the things and buy the treasures i can think of.
i am going to start working on independence, and not just
watching re-runs and falling asleep but making plans,
exploring, taking extra shifts and start going places.
this last year was my recuperating; seeing how much
of me went away, how much i could salvage and what could
make me happy again. now this year i am putting it into action.
i will get the things i want most, because it's the only chance i've
got at putting everything back in order.
i'm accepting my fate again; a future that is mine, no one elses'
and i can do this on my own too.
today i am thankful for my maturity, my strength and
my ability to move on from what pulled me back for so long.

from what

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